Lily’s Story : Itching for God
Imagine finishing a good, sweaty workout—your body buzzing from effort—when suddenly, a fiery tingling sensation erupts across your skin like a thousand burning pinpricks. Or picture stepping out of a soothing shower only to feel as if ants are crawling all over you, triggering relentless itching. Nights are rarely restful; they’re interrupted by compulsive scratching, and I often wake up to find fresh bleeding wounds and skin so dry it cracks with movement. This is life with eczema—my daily battle, my unwanted companion.
I wasn’t born with eczema. As a child, I had smooth, flawless skin—something my mum fondly recalls. But everything changed with puberty. We suspect it’s hormone-related, though there’s never been a clear answer. What followed was a desperate quest for healing. My loving mother tried everything: steroid creams, traditional Chinese remedies, hot spring therapy, and even bizarre herbal brews made from dried seahorses. Living in hot, humid Malaysia only made things worse. Sweat and heat are major triggers, turning daily life into a minefield of potential flare-ups.
My relationship with eczema is complicated. Some days my skin is calm, almost “normal,” until something—usually a mysterious food trigger—sets it off. Beyond the physical toll, the emotional and psychological damage has been devastating. My self-esteem took a hit. I remember the shame of red, inflamed skin, especially on my face. Makeup couldn’t cover it; it would crack and cake on my dry skin, making me look worse. And nothing stings more than well-meaning comments like, “What happened to your skin?!”
I began to withdraw—from people, activities, even responsibilities. The pain wasn’t just physical; it affected my ability to concentrate, to work, to enjoy life. Worst of all, I started to question God.
“Why would a loving God allow me to suffer like this?”
Was it a punishment for not being a good enough Christian?
Was He testing me like Job?
Was He too busy to hear my desperate prayers?
Envy crept in as I saw people with perfect skin and poor character, and I wondered if God had played a cruel joke on me.
But everything began to shift when I joined a course called Biblical Truth Therapy, led by Dr. Cherlene Robson at Bible College Malaysia. It was here that my healing journey—both spiritual and emotional—truly began.
Dr. Cherlene introduced us to Ruach Hakodesh, the Holy Spirit—the active, ever-present Spirit of God. I was reminded how even Jesus, though fully divine, chose to live in human weakness and needed the Holy Spirit after His baptism to begin His ministry. That same Spirit is given to us. “For through Him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father” (Ephesians 2:18).
God wasn’t distant. He was here. And He wanted to be involved in my healing.
Still, my skin didn’t improve immediately. In fact, the struggle often made me doubt again. Frustration returned. Dark thoughts whispered:
“God doesn’t love you enough.”
“You’re not worthy of healing.”
“You’ve failed as a Christian.”
Dr. Cherlene helped expose these lies for what they were—misbeliefs. She taught us how damaging our internal dialogue can be, especially when it’s rooted in fear or condemnation rather than truth. Our thoughts shape our behaviors, and without renewal of the mind, we’re trapped.
So I turned to Scripture, searching for truth. I came to understand that suffering is part of life in a fallen world. Because of sin and disobedience, brokenness entered creation. But God, in His mercy, uses even suffering for good. Joseph was sold into slavery, but rose to power in Egypt. Ruth lost everything, yet became part of Jesus’ lineage. Without pain, we wouldn’t understand grace.
This shift in perspective helped me accept the reality of my condition. I learned to adapt—avoiding triggers, adjusting routines, sacrificing certain pleasures—but I also began to see these moments of discomfort as invitations to turn to God. Whenever itching and pain strike, instead of spiraling into anger or self-pity, I try to respond with prayer, surrender, and trust.
God has surrounded me with a loving church community. They pray with me, listen without judgment, and even offer practical solutions. Their empathy reminds me I’m not alone. In suffering, the Body of Christ becomes real.
In another lesson, Dr. Cherlene taught about identity. Unless we’re grounded in who God says we are, we risk adopting false identities shaped by pain, the world, or our past. Eczema doesn’t define me—God does. I’m His daughter. Seen. Loved. Cherished. And called to be salt and light—even through affliction.
My journey isn’t over. The enemy still tries to discourage me. But I’ve learned to discern the voice of God. Dr. Cherlene’s lesson on hearing God’s voice showed how His voice brings peace, conviction, and hope—unlike the fear and confusion sown by the devil.
And most importantly, I now know: God is always speaking. It’s not about being "special" enough—it’s about being still enough to listen.
Overall, I am deeply grateful for Dr. Cherlene’s lessons, which have powerfully reminded me of God’s sovereignty over every area of my life. Through them, I’ve learned to trust that He can turn even the most impossible situations into testimonies of His goodness. I now live with a renewed sense of gratitude and peace, knowing my identity is securely grounded in His unchanging promises and unconditional love. And above all, I pray that each day, He continues to grow in me a heart that constantly itches—not from eczema—but with longing and desire for more of Him.
