Ruth’s Story: Set free by the Word of God
There is no better way to start this testimony than by saying “All glory be to God”! He is indeed a good, good Father. He is indeed the author and the perfecter of our faith. Thank you, precious Jesus, for setting me free!
When I came to Cherlene, I was very lost. I was the lost sheep that Jesus talks about on the parable in Luke 15:4-7. Even though I was a Christian, I was not living in the freedom that Jesus died for. I was not walking in the authority and the confident hope that is in Jesus Christ. And because of that, I was lost. I was lost in my mind, in my own thoughts. The enemy had a grip on me for a long time, and until that moment, I was spiritually blind to even see it. It was by the grace of God that I could see that I was lost. I remember feeling so much condemnation and fear for acknowledging this. The devil would lie and say, “You see, you are really broken, aren’t you? You are so empty”. But that’s when the Holy Spirit came into the conversation and said “If you would not be broken, why do you need a savior then? Why do you need a doctor? I came to set the captives free! I love you Ruth!”.
In my first session with Cherlene, we went through my APS profile. This report gave me an understanding of my Mind, Will and Emotions. Being aware of how I respond to the things around me and how I receive and perceive them was a true revelation for me. I still remember when she asked me to read Psalm 139:13-18. It was so liberating to know that this is how the Lord has made me, and that he delights in me.
I will never forget how the Lord used her to expose the devil in our next counseling appointment. She talked to me about spiritual warfare and the fact that the enemy is the father of lies! Until that point, I believed that he could read my mind and that he knew everything about me and what would happen in my life. I was afraid of him. He had made me feel so weak and small my entire life. Those were all lies!! The truth is, I am the beloved daughter of the most High God, and he has already won this battle that I was in! He loves me so much, that he bought me with his blood, and NOTHING can separate me from his love, not even the devil and his lies. Because I am in Christ, I have the authority. The evil one cannot touch me; he is actually scared of me because I belong to Jesus Christ! I don’t fight to win, I fight from victory, because Jesus already won! Fear is not my portion, because God did not give me a spirit of fear, but of POWER, of LOVE and a SOUND MIND. His love for me is my strength and my confidence!
The Lord was gently breaking all these strongholds in my mind. That was difficult for me in the beginning, because I wanted to be “good” quickly, and this thought was also another lie I have been believing: that I’m only good enough and have value once I finish something. Our Heavenly Father is so good, that he knows exactly what we need and when we need it. This renewing of my mind and healing could never change the fact that I’m already his daughter, and that is where my worth is.
After the first two sessions, something happened in my life that left me in deep pain. The Lord was opening past wounds and removing people from my life. I felt like Peter walking on the water, but I was drowning. I was also so tired and exhausted from all the warfare I was in. I remember crying out to the Lord at night. Jeremiah 29:12-13 says that “In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.”. I did not feel his presence in that moment, but the Lord was right there with me, and he knew what was going to happen in the next day. The day after, I went to a conference and his glory left me totally undone. I was worshipping him, despite my pain, and as I would praise his name, all the heavy weight the enemy had on me was gone! As I would look to Jesus and his beauty, I was filled with overwhelming joy! I was worshipping for already 4 hours, and I didn’t want to leave his presence. Four days later that conference, the Lord baptized me with his Holy Spirit. For so long I had believed the lies that it wasn’t something for me, and that the Lord didn’t love me enough to give me that gift. My relationship with him changed so much after that: I could express myself to him in the most intimate and beautiful way I could ever imagine, and I felt so strong in Him!
John 8:32 says that “You will KNOW the truth, and the truth will set you free”. The big miracle the Lord did in my life was to open my eyes to the truth, which is Jesus himself. He is the only way, the only truth, and the only life. I remember doubting and not believing what the Bible says, and that opened doors for the lies of the devil. I will never forget hearing the sweet voice of the Holy Spirit saying to me “Ruth, you have the truth. Will you choose to believe it or not?”. I remember being so tired of believing all of those lies that I started writing on paper bible verses and putting them all over my wall and speaking them over myself. I was not just reading the Bible, I was meditating on it day and night; I wanted to “eat it”, if that’s the bread and the living water (Matthew 4:4). I didn’t want to just think about scripture; I wanted to think scripture. I wanted to fill my mind with God’s truth, leaving no room for the enemy’s lies.
I used to question my love for God and his love for me. I used to feel so much condemnation and shame. I used to be so scared to disappoint God and I wanted to make him proud of me. Sometimes these feelings and thoughts come back, but I choose to cling, stand and hold on to the truth that the Lord already has been speaking over me and that it is written in the book of life!
I am so grateful to God for leading me to Cherlene. God used her mightily to speak life over me and to point me to Jesus. It’s beautiful and it makes me emotional to think on how the Lord cared so much for me to pick me up from the place that I was. For a long time, I wanted to prove to myself that I was loved by him and that he was with me. I thought that I had to do something to show that I am worthy. The Lord led me a lot of times to a place of silence and there I found that he was always with me. The moment I stopped and stayed still, I could hear his voice saying, “I just love you Ruth”. Being in his presence and allowing myself to receive his love is what healed me.
Thank you, Jesus, my healer, my savior, my friend. There is no one like you. You have been so so good to me!
